1) I am the Queen of this family, what I say goes. The King of the family and I discuss everything and even if we disagree in private, we agree in public.  Don't try to play the system.  The first and main reason you are told/asked to do/don't do something is "because I said so." Now because I am a kind and gentle queen, there may be another logical to me reason and most of the time I will be glad to share that reason with you. You don't have to agree with me, but you do have to obey unless it is immoral, illegal, or harmful to do so.

2) Be honest...every time, all the time. If someone comes to me and says they have evidence of you doing/not doing something and you tell me otherwise, I NEED and WANT to be able to say...my son said and I believe it. We start out on the premise everything you tell me is the truth. Don't mess it up.   Be the first person to tell me if you mess up. Consequences are usually positive in this case as we will discuss the situation and find ways for it to not happen again. If you are reported to me by others, it will be a different outcome entirely.  Consequences are chosen to what best suits the problem.

3) I will know where you are, who you are with, what generally you are doing, when you will leave and return, and how you plan to get there at all times. If you fail to do this, you will either be with the family or at school where none of these issues will be in question. Your freedom depends on communication, the more you communicate as above, the more freedom you have. Curfew is 10pm school nights, midnight on weekends as long as the above conditions are met. Trustworthiness in word and deed leads to a curfew of "when you are done."

4)  There are no second chances in this family for only two things:  involvement with illegal drugs of any kind or deliberate physical harm to another person or an animal. 

5) Computer and internet usage are a privilege. They come after schoolwork, family time and time with face to face friends. It is not a problem unless you make it a problem, then I solve the problem. Absolutely no pornography or occult are allowed in this house.  If you would not want me watching over your shoulder while you are on the computer, then don't go there.  Excessive downloading is not acceptable.  Permission is required before logging into the internet unless it is for school work.  Permission is required before chatting back home to friends and family.  The more you speak your native language, the more you hurt your language learning.

6) This is a family and we share our time, our selves, and our work to make the family and home a place we all like to be. We do our share. Your room and your bathroom are yours to keep tidy and the cleanup after supper is shared between the boys.  The common areas are kept clean by the entire family. Occasionally other small tasks may be assigned such as taking out the dogs or the trash. If you use the last of something write it on the shopping list on the fridge.  If you mess something up, clean it up rather than leave it for the next person who comes along.

7)  We live in a home, not a men's locker room.  Appropriate language and clothing are essential.  Do NOT come out of a bedroom only wearing underwear and absolutely, positively NO low riding pants.  A long shirt does not make it ok to wear pants that do not cover your rear end.  Pajamas or lounge clothes are fine for in the common rooms.  Always knock before opening a closed bedroom door, respecting the privacy of others.

8) We eat supper (or weekend dinner) together. We all eat the same food. If there is something any person in the family does not like to eat, there are usually alternate choices on the table. If there aren't (in the case of a one dish meal like a casserole, stew, etc) then the person can make a sandwich. No one has to eat something they detest, but must taste new foods as part of courtesy and cultural experience.  It is important to eat a variety of things rather than an entire package or dish of something you really like  without leaving others a fair share. No one should to go hungry here, but eating an entire pan of brownies or half a pie just because it tastes good is selfish and unacceptable. In addition, please have only a small snack if we will be eating our evening meal soon.  If you are not sure when we plan to eat, just ask.  Unless something is reserved for making a meal later, anything in the fridge or pantry is there for everyone.  If you have bought something special you don't want to share, set it aside with your name on it so others don't accidentally eat it.

9) Cell phones are to be useful tools, not a part of your body.  Your first priority is to be with the people in person, not the people calling or texting you.  The one exception to this--if Candi or Ken are calling/texting you...ANSWER THE PHONE.  Unless it is an emergency situation, cell phones are not acceptable at the dinner table.

10) Above all, courtesy, kindness, and respect for yourself and others are the rules of the house.  If you have a problem, try to work it out with the person involved or ask for help.

A Final Note for Exchangers:
We both have power in this relationship. You have the ultimate power to leave this family and we have the ultimate power to tell you to leave. Neither of us wants this. A battle of wills will simply put both of us in a no win situation. Up to the power of leaving, it is too easy to see who can push the hardest and in this case, I will "win" but both will be very unhappy. It is much better to discuss things and work out a solution we can both live with, but understand some things are simply not negotiable due to your situation of being under agency rules and being a minor in this country.